


Rude

by Diddle_Riddle



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Also don't forget that Jonathan is a teacher, At any moment, Fluff and Humor, Friendship, Humor, It can only be fun, M/M, Selina and Eddie as roommates, So he gives lessons about everything, They are like teenagers, honestly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-13
Updated: 2019-01-13
Packaged: 2019-10-09 12:43:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17407133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Diddle_Riddle/pseuds/Diddle_Riddle
Summary: For supervillains just like for everyone else, having a roommate is kinda fun and a good way to have company. But sometimes, it can also be very embarrassing. Edward attested this, as he was simply trying to enjoy a private moment with his boyfriend when his roommate Selina walked in. And by doing so, caught him under the shower with said boyfriend.





	Rude

They often had to live together.

Being a supervillain wasn't always good for business, far from it. They spent half the time planning robberies, for sure, but during the time _between_ an escaping from Arkham and the moment they set up their next scheme, a more or less extended period elapsed, during the one they had to stay discreet.

So more than once, the Rogues Gallery ended up sharing an apartment during a few weeks, months sometimes, because they were all too broke to avoid cohabitation. And even though Oswald gladly helped his friends when they needed, they often had to be roommates if they wanted to rent a decent place, during the times when they played civilians for longer than usual. Otherwise, when they only got out of the asylum to immediately plan a next attack, they stayed at living in the warehouses and the abandoned buildings with often neither electricity nor water.

But since the last weeks after they escaped together from the asylum, Selina Kyle and Edward Nygma were roommates in a relatively sympathetic two-bedroom sized flat in a quite nice part of town.

Cohabitation worked pretty well, they were good friends to begin with and they already lived together a little here and there ; but never for a period as long as this one.

Selina actually enjoyed Ed's company ; sure he was a hysterical smug child whom talked far too much, but _she_ had her own... peculiarities too. So well, they worked things out and the flatsharing wasn't difficult for none of them in the end.

It currently was morning, Selina was greeted when she woke up by a text in her cellphone, left by Harley not long ago. It said Ivy and her wanted to plan a Sirens robbery. They invited her to join for breakfast today accordingly, so that they'll explain their new objective. Cheered up by the prospect, Selina typed a response, saying she'll be there in approximatively half an hour. Then she got out of bed and put her dressing gown on her black nightie.

Edward was out yesterday night, she didn't hear him coming home in the evening. Was he at the Iceberg Lounge? Probably... Either way she'll leave him a message on her way to the girls' shared apartment, to say she'll hang out with the Sirens today.

Selina headed for the bathroom.

The door was closed, she could hear water running inside.

Not bothering to knock, she opened the door and stepped inside. The bathtub had a shower curtain anyway ; plus she won't be long, just the time to brush her teeth and hair and do a quick makeup. Besides, even if Edward didn't close the curtain... well, let's say the two of them, along with their fellow iconic villains, had been in Arkham together _many_ times. Men and women weren't even always separated during the showers, so it wasn't like the Rogues Gallery had anything to hide to each other anymore.

As odd as it may seem, this... aspect, of their lives as supervillains, contributed in fact to strengthen the strange yet powerful bond they shared. Friendship? None of them were sure about that word, even if it was surely the most appropriate term to describe their relationships. For her, Selina considered Edward, Harley, Ivy and Harvey as her friends. And she... sort of liked the others.

Being together in a madhouse living the same things _was_ , no doubt, a great and solid bonding experience.

So she was very suprised by Eddie's reaction from behind the dark blue shower curtain when she entered the bathroom.

"Don't move.", she said as an introduction. "I just have to wash and get ready then I'll leave you, it will take less than ten minutes."

But in place of a simple "okay" as usual, generally followed by a morning riddle for a great start to the day, the answer coming was a gasp, as if he just startled, and he immediately shouted :

"Selina! I... I'm... Get out of here!"

The distress in his voice made her arch an eyebrow as she had just taken her toothbrush.

"What's wrong, kitten?", she frowned, going on with her morning routine. "What are you doing?"

"I... I don't have to explain, just get out!", he cried out once again, the frustration rising rapidly in his tone. "Right now!"

Just when she was about to underline that there was no need for him to be angry and that she _didn't like_ this abnormal tone of voice he was using to talk to her, a third voice, coming from... the bathtub as well, stated with a stern, clinical tone :

"That was very unsympathetic and surprising of you, Edward. It kinda... disappoints me."

Selina instantly broke into a huge grin, as she turned to the obscured bathtub and greeted, holding back a chuckle :

"Good morning, professor Crane."

A tiny bit of the blue curtain was pushed, and Jonathan's face appeared in her line of vision, whom smiled politely :

"Good morning, Miss Kyle. Take your time, and forgive the..."

"Yeah, yeah, _good morning_.", Edward's very frustrated voice cut him off, and his head popped up as well as he pushed more of the curtain.

Selina had to severely control herself to refrain a laughter.

"Everybody has been polite and bla bla bla, are you all satisfied?", the redhead went on through gritted teeth. "Now maybe you'll consent to leave this room and let us... return to our present activities."

"Edward, there's no need to be rude.", Jonathan scolded him, looking down to him with a reproving expression, which only added to Selina's amusement.

Ed looked overdramatically shocked by his reaction, and was now addressing him a 'what the Hell are you doing?!' kind of look.

"Rude?!", he repeated as if he couldn't believe what he just heard. "But _she_ is the one who... interrupted!"

"Jeez, Eddie.", she scoffed. "How can you be so grumpy while you're having _morning sex_ in the _shower_?! If _that_ doesn't help you relax and feel better, then I wonder what would..."

Jonathan gazed at her with a quite concerned manner after this comment.

"I've already asked myself that question.", he informed her, pondering. "And I'm still trying to figure out a proper analysis to answer it. I'll let you know if my investigation leads to promising results."

"Thanks Jon, that's very thoughtful of you.", she smirked. "See Ed, you could take a few lessons on _courtesy_ from your boyfriend."

Edward addressed both her and his companion a death glare, then growled :

"Well since you two seem to get along so well, why don't we switch places so that _you_ could concretise in that goddamn shower?!"

That just made the two older ones laugh.

"Maybe another time.", she joked with a mischievous smile. "For now I'll leave you to it... And since Eddie is now in such a terrible mood, good luck for the next part Crane."

The doctor only answered by what could be called a scary, disturbing as Hell smile. In Edward's language, as she heard him qualify these facial expressions since way back a _lot of times_ already, these smiles were in truth "handsomely hot and sexy". Then Jon responded, his voice helding both a possessive and dark undertone that would give _chills_ to anybody :

"Don't worry about that, Miss Kyle. I have my _tricks_."

"Oh, I don't doubt it.", she grinned seeing the sudden blush on Ed's cheeks his last remark provoked. "Have fun, you creepy dorks."

Then just when she was about to leave, she turned back to the now closed again curtain shower and added :

"By the way Eddie, I almost forgot, I needed to know if you..."

"Get OUT, Selina !"

She was laughing way too much as she exited the bathroom, and caught a last bit of Jonathan scolding him again, as if he was a four years old brat, for being so rude. When she closed back the door behind her, the boys were now _arguing_. Together, on morning, under the shower. Such a funny sight.

Honestly, given their tempers, it was even surprising they managed to stick more or less together for so long. Since they called themselves boyfriends, bitter exs, partners or sworn _enemies_ depending on the mood... it was, indeed, _complicated_. And nobody knew what to expect from one day to another about the way their relationship evolved.

Anyway she could say that yes : it definitely was _very_ funny, to have Edward as a roommate.

 


End file.
